View Full Version : Staying a Bachelor into late 30s or 40s...
Is staying single and keeping all your hard earned cash selfish? Is there something wrong with you? If your dates are hot 19-24 y/o women who can't keep their hands off you in public, are you just a greedy, immature, pervert?
This day and age living uncommitted to marriage and raising children is considered by many to be a meaningless existence. A man enjoying life as he pleases sets a dangerous precedent. Any man who women cannot control has no value in their world, and he must be silenced! Fuck that, it's time to speak on it...
Each year the Divorce Industry enforces an annual transfer of wealth from men to women of approximately:
$45 Billion Dollars a Year
The Divorce industry is little more than a socialist redistrubtion scheme, confiscating male assets and rewarding women. Why do men continue to throw their lives away through marriage??? FACT: Marriage is set up failure for men. Women can control men if they control our money with the threat of a divorce. If you have money, you control your destiny. If someone else control's your money, THEY control your destiny. Who's best interest do you think they have at heart? Yours or Theirs?
Yes, I just had another friend get screwed over in a divorce. When will they ever learn? The Power of the P-U-S-S-Y :no:
ebmobley
11-26-2008, 10:39 AM
If a guy has something he must be careful in his choice of a mate. If he picks someone who knew him before he had something, he should be relatively safe. If his sole attractiveness to the opposite sex is what he has, he is going to be in a world of hurt. Unless he can lay out the ground rules for the basis of the relationship and they sign a prenuptial agreement.
With all that said, there are no guarantees. But I have noticed that a lot of people are blinded by love or something and can't see the relationship was doomed from the beginning.
VitaminJ
11-26-2008, 10:45 AM
I AGREE. THEY COULD USE THERE P**** AS A DOWN PAYMENT. IF YOURE WITH A GIRL WHO IS WITH YOU MAYBE WHEN U HAD NOTHING,SHE IS A KEEPER.SOME WOMEN THESE DAYS ARE ONLY AFTER THE ALL MIGHTY DOLLA DOLLA. AND B4 I GET SCOLDED,I SAID SOME WOMEN,NOT ALL LOL
If a guy has something he must be careful in his choice of a mate. If he picks someone who knew him before he had something, he should be relatively safe. If his sole attractiveness to the opposite sex is what he has, he is going to be in a world of hurt. Unless he can lay out the ground rules for the basis of the relationship and they sign a prenuptial agreement.
With all that said, there are no guarantees. But I have noticed that a lot of people are blinded by love or something and can't see the relationship was doomed from the beginning.
Prenups are getting tossed out in court left & right these days. One tip for prenups is to include things you know she will want to change. Tell her to look it over with her attorney and get back to you with any changes she wants. That way if you two ever get divorced she cannot claim she didn't fully understand the prenup and only signed it because she was shocked and under duress. The judge will see that she must have understood it if she went over it with her attorney & made changes to it.
ebmobley
11-26-2008, 11:02 AM
Prenups are getting tossed out in court left & right these days. One tip for prenups is to include things you know she will want to change. Tell her to look it over with her attorney and get back to you with any changes she wants. That way if you two ever get divorced she cannot claim she didn't fully understand the prenup and only signed it because she was shocked and under duress. The judge will see that she must have understood it if she went over it with her attorney & made changes to it.
Damn. You have to do all that? That is a lot of work to do, just to sign a prenup, just to get married, just to get divorced.
We need some females to get in here to respond. Right now the bachelor life is looking pretty good.
I AGREE. THEY COULD USE THERE P**** AS A DOWN PAYMENT. IF YOURE WITH A GIRL WHO IS WITH YOU MAYBE WHEN U HAD NOTHING,SHE IS A KEEPER.SOME WOMEN THESE DAYS ARE ONLY AFTER THE ALL MIGHTY DOLLA DOLLA. AND B4 I GET SCOLDED,I SAID SOME WOMEN,NOT ALL LOL
When I was younger and broke as a joke I never really thought about these things. If a woman didn't want to marry me because she loved me she wouldn't get much in a divorce anyway. But now as I get older and start to accumulate more things I do think about it. How can I tell if she is in love with me? Or in love with my money? I suppose if I use Assest Protection and put all my assests behind layers and layers of impenetrable Trusts so that in a divorce she'll never see one dime.
How many women would want to marry a man like that? A man who HAS money but has it protected so that in the event of a divorce she will not have access to it. That pretty much defeats the purpose of her wanting to get married in the first place doesn't it? :)
ebmobley
11-26-2008, 11:50 AM
Yeah this topic is a tricky subject. Marriage has a lot to do with money, well at least stability and security.
When I finished school I was getting hit on by all the females I knew from back in the day. They must have thought I was going to be doing big things. Lol. I even had mothers and aunts trying to pimp out their daughters and nieces. I mean it was great fun, but I really had to think about what was going on.
coyoteblack
11-26-2008, 12:09 PM
Here lays the problem, people think of Marriage in the wrong way.. It's not something you get into Knowing you have a way out , it's something you do when you cannot see yourself apart from that woman and she towards you.
The divorce rate is high because people want commit to anything, if it doesn't benefit them in anyway or they my have a chance to loose something, don't get married...
The saying is for richer or poorer, for in good health or bad and for good or bad times..(basically take me for who or what I am, bad or good)...
Marriage is not all about you but about we... People think about me all the time,"what about what I want"...
Men say I had a mother why should I want another. Women say no man can control me, I do what I want, when I want... It's give and take, sometimes you give more than you take...
It's hard not easy and if anybody thought it was goin to be easy is a fool and should and will get divorce...
You don't have to get married if it's not for you, so be it, it's not for you.... The one's that get married and stay married more power to them.....
I have been married for 12years now.. She was with me when I was on top of the world and she still with me when the World came crashing in on me..... We have been together as a couple even before I knew I loved her..
ebmobley
11-26-2008, 12:14 PM
Here lays the problem, people think of Marriage in the wrong way.. It's not something you get into Knowing you have a way out , it's something you do when you cannot see yourself apart from that woman and she towards you.
The divorce rate is high because people want commit to anything, if it doesn't benefit them in anyway or they my have a chance to loose something, don't get married...
The saying is for richer or poorer, for in good health or bad and for good or bad times..(basically take me for who or what I am, bad or good)...
Marriage is not all about you but about we... People think about me all the time,"what about what I want"...
Men say I had a mother why should I want another. Women say no man can control me, I do what I want, when I want... It's give and take, sometimes you give more than you take...
It's hard not easy and if anybody thought it was goin to be easy is a fool and should and will get divorce...
You don't have to get married if it's not for you, so be it, it's not for you.... The one's that get married and stay married more power to them.....
I have been married for 12years now.. She was with me when I was on top of the world and she still with me when the World came crashing in on me..... We have been together as a couple even before I knew I loved her..
:bravo: Well said.
Here lays the problem, people think of Marriage in the wrong way.. It's not something you get into Knowing you have a way out , it's something you do when you cannot see yourself apart from that woman and she towards you.
The divorce rate is high because people want commit to anything, if it doesn't benefit them in anyway or they my have a chance to loose something, don't get married...
The saying is for richer or poorer, for in good health or bad and for good or bad times..(basically take me for who or what I am, bad or good)...
Marriage is not all about you but about we... People think about me all the time,"what about what I want"...
Men say I had a mother why should I want another. Women say no man can control me, I do what I want, when I want... It's give and take, sometimes you give more than you take...
It's hard not easy and if anybody thought it was goin to be easy is a fool and should and will get divorce...
You don't have to get married if it's not for you, so be it, it's not for you.... The one's that get married and stay married more power to them.....
I have been married for 12years now.. She was with me when I was on top of the world and she still with me when the World came crashing in on me..... We have been together as a couple even before I knew I loved her..
The thing is, marriage is set up to reward women. It's truly a win/win situation for them. Why should she stick it through the tough times in a marriage when the State is telling her that if she files for a divorce she gets half her husband's estate? You really expect her to not sit and think about all the LV and Gucci she could drape her ass in; half your assets, the house & car, alimony payments, child support (she can also spend that money on herself), half your retirement, half the life insurance, your 401K, etc. :wow: IT'S NO WONDER WOMEN INITIATE 75% OF THE DIVORCES! A woman can marry and divorce as many times as she wants, and will win in court just about every time. And she can continue suing for more at will! Divorce is legalized castration for a man. 9 times out of 10, he gets NOTHING he didn't already have.
The marriage institution is failing because women have the financial incentive to destroy it.
ebmobley
11-26-2008, 12:44 PM
I guess the point is that the woman you are suppose to marry wouldn't destroy it.
I know lots of girls who have left guys during this economic crisis. Dude loses his job and if he can't find one of the same caliber quickly, she is gone. In most of the cases the couples weren't married, but it showed her intentions. Obviously these guys weren't meant to be with these girls. But I know some girls who have stuck by guys all through layoffs, illnesses, whatever. They would be keepers and are in the relationship for reasons other than finances.
It is a tricky thing to sort out the women who are genuinely interested when you have a lot to offer.
coyoteblack
11-26-2008, 01:05 PM
The thing is, marriage is set up to reward women. It's truly a win/win situation for them. Why should she stick it through the tough times in a marriage when the State is telling her that if she files for a divorce she gets half her husband's estate? You really expect her to not sit and think about all the LV and Gucci she could drape her ass in; half your assets, the house & car, alimony payments, child support (she can also spend that money on herself), half your retirement, half the life insurance, your 401K, etc. :wow: IT'S NO WONDER WOMEN INITIATE 75% OF THE DIVORCES! A woman can marry and divorce as many times as she wants, and will win in court just about every time. And she can continue suing for more at will! Divorce is legalized castration for a man. 9 times out of 10, he gets NOTHING he didn't already have.
The marriage institution is failing because women have the financial incentive to destroy it.You are still looking at Marriage the wrong way, if thatis how I perceived marriage I wouldn't get married... I wasn't looking for a wife or a relationship knowing my chances at life are slim.
My mother married 5 times, 6 if you count the one she married twice... I watched these men lie and cheat on her, I saw she was truly never happy (till this Marriage she is in now for the last 15 yrs) I had it made up my mind, that I was going to have just friends..... And yes she made a small fortune but damn she put up with a lot of shytt.. She married for the wrong reasons till she married the person I call pops now who has done right by her and she has done right by him..
Marriage at this point in your life is not for you, if you are so worried about the statistics they will always be reasons for you not to get married... Just don't make excuses , just don't get married be happy with what you have and the life you live...
Remember not every person is meant to get married in their life time plus just don't harp on the ones who do get married, even if they divorce, it's their lives not yours..
coyoteblack
11-26-2008, 01:28 PM
I guess the point is that the woman you are suppose to marry wouldn't destroy it.
I know lots of girls who have left guys during this economic crisis. Dude loses his job and if he can't find one of the same caliber quickly, she is gone. In most of the cases the couples weren't married, but it showed her intentions. Obviously these guys weren't meant to be with these girls. But I know some girls who have stuck by guys all through layoffs, illnesses, whatever. They would be keepers and are in the relationship for reasons other than finances.
It is a tricky thing to sort out the women who are genuinely interested when you have a lot to offer.Then don't offer them anything but you, if they can't take that, then they don't want or deserve what you have to offer them.. Money can only purchase the things you can see or hold but never the things that is worth more than gold..
People use to marvel on how love can move mountains, bridge divides and part oceans.. They wrote poetry about love, wrote masterful songs and would shout it from the rooftops.. Now love is seemed lost in a world of What about me...
Here is something find out what would make you a good husband for a woman, then you might run into what you would find in a good wife....
ebmobley
11-26-2008, 01:48 PM
I am no poet so I won't be writing any poetry, but my last relationship was a beautiful thing.
I guess the point is that the woman you are suppose to marry wouldn't destroy it.
I know lots of girls who have left guys during this economic crisis. Dude loses his job and if he can't find one of the same caliber quickly, she is gone. In most of the cases the couples weren't married, but it showed her intentions. Obviously these guys weren't meant to be with these girls. But I know some girls who have stuck by guys all through layoffs, illnesses, whatever. They would be keepers and are in the relationship for reasons other than finances.
It is a tricky thing to sort out the women who are genuinely interested when you have a lot to offer.
Women want a higher income man that can provide her an upgraded lifestyle with no responsibility. A man that can give her the freedom to quit working so she can shop till she drops. If one day that man loses his financial stability it's perfectly acceptable in our society for her to divorce him. Nobody will look at her negatively! He's a fucking deadbeat that can't afford to support his wife.
On the otherhand, men want attractive women who are nice, love sex, and can care for children. Her business potential, assets, and status, are all irrelevant. If she starts to get fat & ugly and refuses to go to the gym or do anything about it what is he left with? If he divorces her because she no longer looks like the woman he married then everyone looks at him as if he's a shallow piece of shit! How dare he divorce her because she gained weight? He's supposed to love her for her! Well, at least she gets half his things! Take that you bastard!
:dontgetit:
You are still looking at Marriage the wrong way, if thatis how I perceived marriage I wouldn't get married... I wasn't looking for a wife or a relationship knowing my chances at life are slim.
My mother married 5 times, 6 if you count the one she married twice... I watched these men lie and cheat on her, I saw she was truly never happy (till this Marriage she is in now for the last 15 yrs) I had it made up my mind, that I was going to have just friends..... And yes she made a small fortune but damn she put up with a lot of shytt.. She married for the wrong reasons till she married the person I call pops now who has done right by her and she has done right by him..
Marriage at this point in your life is not for you, if you are so worried about the statistics they will always be reasons for you not to get married... Just don't make excuses , just don't get married be happy with what you have and the life you live...
Remember not every person is meant to get married in their life time plus just don't harp on the ones who do get married, even if they divorce, it's their lives not yours..
What is the right way to look at marriage? Very few men have gotten married and gone on to live "happily ever after". Women are good at role playing. Many of them are experts at playing the role of a good woman until they get what they want. How many stories have you heard from men about how once they got married she changed. She cut out the sex, got fat, start bitching about everything, etc. Why is that? Because once you signed that marriage license she knows you can't leave without getting legally raped! She's free to behave however she wants and dare you to do anything about it.
So what is the right frame of mind to have in regards to marriage? Just hope you get lucky and she is truly a good woman that is not role playing? Don't think negatively, just think about how you can be a good husband for her and hope for the best? If you lose half your shit, oh well...at least ya tried?
Then don't offer them anything but you, if they can't take that, then they don't want or deserve what you have to offer them.. Money can only purchase the things you can see or hold but never the things that is worth more than gold..
People use to marvel on how love can move mountains, bridge divides and part oceans.. They wrote poetry about love, wrote masterful songs and would shout it from the rooftops.. Now love is seemed lost in a world of What about me...
Here is something find out what would make you a good husband for a woman, then you might run into what you would find in a good wife....
I like that you're a positive person with a positve outlook on life. That being said, I believe money is more than that. Money is the root of all power. Money can provide a more rewarding lifestyle, stability and independence. Lots of money gives you the ability to buy what you want, work where you want, and tell people to "go to hell" if you want. The more money you have, the more control you have. Money does give you more than things you can see and hold.
Am I the only sum-bitch left with a sense of honor? If I were to marry a woman with more money than me and we got divorced, I would NOT go after her money. I don't give a damn about what the State is saying I'm entitled to. I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror. I want to be successful but I want to get there on my own two feet, I don't have to take anything from anyone. I can stand tall and look any muthafucka straight in the eyes because I've done everything for myself.
Sadly, the vast majority of women (and men) do not give a fuck. Their attitude: If a law says I can have it then I'm taking it...I don't give a fuck as to whether or not I earned it! Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie!
And these are the same people bitching about respect and being looked at as equal. FUCK YOU BITCHES! :bigfinger:
Dude you got some really bad female issues, I was going to agree with coyoteblack on your perspective of marriage but really what I'm reading sounds like female issues to me.
I mean it's cool not to get married but damn man I would swear you hated women...or something.
ebmobley
11-26-2008, 03:02 PM
Women want a higher income man that can provide her an upgraded lifestyle with no responsibility. A man that can give her the freedom to quit working so she can shop till she drops. If one day that man loses his financial stability it's perfectly acceptable in our society for her to divorce him. Nobody will look at her negatively! He's a fucking deadbeat that can't afford to support his wife.
On the otherhand, men want attractive women who are nice, love sex, and can care for children. Her business potential, assets, and status, are all irrelevant. If she starts to get fat & ugly and refuses to go to the gym or do anything about it what is he left with? If he divorces her because she no longer looks like the woman he married then everyone looks at him as if he's a shallow piece of shit! How dare he divorce her because she gained weight? He's supposed to love her for her! Well, at least she gets half his things! Take that you bastard!
:dontgetit:
I am not going to disagree with this. These are all the stories I hear. Women get very upset when their lifestyle is compromised and it is okay for them to think that way. But flip the coin over, where they are not fulfilling their assigned duties and you better man up and get over it. Lol. I get your point.
It seems to me to be a bit of old school vs new school. I know a lot of old school women who seem to understand to concept of marriage. They are in it for better or for worse. But the media (or whatever) has messed up the new school version of marriage. I know girls who are nice girls, who would fall victim to what you are saying. I don't believe these particular girls are out to get anyone, but they fall into that selfish thinking.
coyoteblack
11-26-2008, 03:03 PM
Am I the only sum-bitch left with a sense of honor? If I were to marry a woman with more money than me and we got divorced, I would NOT go after her money. I don't give a damn about what the State is saying I'm entitled to. I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror. I want to be successful but I want to get there on my own two feet, I don't have to take anything from anyone. I can stand tall and look any muthafucka straight in the eyes because I've done everything for myself.
Sadly, the vast majority of women (and men) do not give a fuck. Their attitude: If a law says I can have it then I'm taking it...I don't give a fuck as to whether or not I earned it! Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie!
And these are the same people bitching about respect and being looked at as equal. FUCK YOU BITCHES! :bigfinger:Like I said marriage is not for you... but you do show a sense of honor and truth in your words... On the money tip take it from someone who knows money is just paper when it really cannot buy the one thing in life you want...
In some ways you have proved my point... I walked away from a lot of money not because of pride or honor but truth... If I still receive the money when he dies so be it, it was meant to be ....... But I am true to God, my wife and myself.....
ebmobley
11-26-2008, 03:11 PM
What is the right way to look at marriage? Very few men have gotten married and gone on to live "happily ever after". Women are good at role playing. Many of them are experts at playing the role of a good woman until they get what they want. How many stories have you heard from men about how once they got married she changed. She cut out the sex, got fat, start bitching about everything, etc. Why is that? Because once you signed that marriage license she knows you can't leave without getting legally raped! She's free to behave however she wants and dare you to do anything about it.
So what is the right frame of mind to have in regards to marriage? Just hope you get lucky and she is truly a good woman that is not role playing? Don't think negatively, just think about how you can be a good husband for her and hope for the best? If you lose half your shit, oh well...at least ya tried?
It is not completely hopeless. I know lots of girls who are like you describe, but I also know some ladies who would only be interested in you. Like anything worth having, it takes time to find them.
Dude you got some really bad female issues, I was going to agree with coyoteblack on your perspective of marriage but really what I'm reading sounds like female issues to me.
I mean it's cool not to get married but damn man I would swear you hated women...or something.
Nah man, it's not female issues. It's issues with society. If men were rewarded in divorce instead of women I'd still think it's bullshit. It may come across as female bashing because they are the ones benefiting from these fucked up laws.
I guess I sort of look at this like you're walking behind someone and see them drop their wallet. Do you pick up the wallet and give it back to them? Or just stuff the wallet in your pocket and go about your business? Women who are taking money that they didn't earn or help the man get in divorces are "taking the wallet" and they have no sense of shame. So yes, maybe I have a bit of anger about their shamelessness.
Like I said marriage is not for you... but you do show a sense of honor and truth in your words... On the money tip take it from someone who knows money is just paper when it really cannot buy the one thing in life you want...
In some ways you have proved my point... I walked away from a lot of money not because of pride or honor but truth... If I still receive the money when he dies so be it, it was meant to be ....... But I am true to God, my wife and myself.....
I hear what you're saying. You're making some good points.
ebmobley
11-26-2008, 03:17 PM
I like that you're a positive person with a positve outlook on life. That being said, I believe money is more than that. Money is the root of all power. Money can provide a more rewarding lifestyle, stability and independence. Lots of money gives you the ability to buy what you want, work where you want, and tell people to "go to hell" if you want. The more money you have, the more control you have. Money does give you more than things you can see and hold.
The money topic is for another day and time.
Razor_Reigns
11-26-2008, 04:59 PM
Coyoteblack typed it best, but for a simple solution, like my nigg@ Wilie D said "Stop marrying these hoes" and nigg@s wouldn't have half the problems they have today, that heffer didn't become greedy and shallow over night, somethin she did/said at the start of the relationship let you know that this hoe was all about money, i.e. The woman you want, isn't always the woman you need :nod:
FuriouStylez
11-26-2008, 07:32 PM
if youve got to do all that thinkin before you marry a bitch...
then youre marrying the wrong bitch...
FuriouStylez
11-26-2008, 07:40 PM
Coyoteblack typed it best, but for a simple solution, like my nigg@ Wilie D said "Stop marrying these hoes" and nigg@s wouldn't have half the problems they have today, that heffer didn't become greedy and shallow over night, somethin she did/said at the start of the relationship let you know that this hoe was all about money, i.e. The woman you want, isn't always the woman you need :nod:
word...
if these corny ass nigs would stop fallin in love with every big booty bitch they meet in the club and looks at them twice...lettin these hos spend the night in your bed, use your shower and start playin house in YOUR shit...
then there wouldnt have all these problems and misunderstandings...
then after 2 months of the bitch shacking up and not showing any responsibilities at all besides keeping her hair appointments, you want to marry the hos and wonder why u get fucked over in the end...
its not the game thats fucked up...its the lames that fuck it up.
if youve got to do all that thinkin before you marry a bitch...
then youre marrying the wrong bitch...
See that's where you're wrong brotha! When a smart man buys his first home, he immediately pays for quality legal advice. He does title searches, lien searches, reviews zoning restrictions and easements, and buys a variety of insurance policies. He talks it over with family & friends to get first hand advice. But when it comes to marriage, men just dive in headfirst without thinking! BLINDLY IGNORING THE MOST IMPORTANT FINANCIAL DECISION OF THEIR LIFE.
Yes, you SHOULD do all that thinkin before you marry a bitch.
word...
if these corny ass nigs would stop fallin in love with every big booty bitch they meet in the club and looks at them twice...lettin these hos spend the night in your bed, use your shower and start playin house in YOUR shit...
then there wouldnt have all these problems and misunderstandings...
then after 2 months of the bitch shacking up and not showing any responsibilities at all besides keeping her hair appointments, you want to marry the hos and wonder why u get fucked over in the end...
its not the game thats fucked up...its the lames that fuck it up.
There's around 1,800,000 divorces a year. You really think that number is so high because men are marrying hoes after knowing them for just 2 months? I'm telling you it's a SET UP! We are living in a feminine society and men are being set up! When you or a friend you know gets screwed over in a divorce it's very easy to say "he just chose the wrong woman". But how do you choose the right* woman? The general consensus is that you'll know when the right woman comes along because you'll feel so in love that you'll only want to be with her for the rest of your life. This takes me back to my role playing statements. Women know how to play the ROLE of that "dream woman" to trap a man. If it's too good to be true it probably is! So is that great feeling about spending the rest of your life with that right* woman too good to be true? Should that raise a red flag in your head that something might be wrong? Why does she seem so perfect for me?
Millions of men who've fallen victim to the Divorce Industry believed she was right woman for him. Even if she WAS a good woman initially, why is the State giving her incentives to screw her husband over? Our society is telling women to get married AND to get divorced. Name one influence in our society that suggest a woman should stay married to her husband that is more powerful than the Divorce Industry's influence to divorce him!
I'm trying to tell ya, the game IS fucked up. :shame:
dathill2002
11-27-2008, 05:13 AM
As a married man myself, I have to cosign the threadstarter in saying that marriage as an institution sets men up for failure because of the divorce industry.
However, I also submit that something a lot men don't consider when they look at how divorce(and marriage) tends to benefit women more than men, is because of how the male power structure still marginalizes women. Laws are overly biased in favor of women because of the way how marriage back in the day used to give men an unfair amount of control over women's lives. That is still a problem today in some cases.
People seldom remember that before the women's movement back in the day, you could damn near treat your wife like your personal property. A woman would be hard pressed to live a good life after a divorce. So if you happened to be an abusive/unfaithful/unsupportive husband, it was a choice for a woman to live a "secure" life of abuse, or chance uncertain poverty for herself and her children. Now to compensate, states laws are always skewed in favor of women as a result today.
Giving up half your trap is a small price to pay compared to a woman with no education, no contacts, no job experience and the like trying to survive in a world with/or without dependents. A man can always start over, too many deadbeat dads are given the luxury to be able to disown their children while the mothers have to always be accountable. That is the tradeoff.
Now if you are dumb enough to marry a woman with no skill set and values of her own, then it is your own fault if you are a "victim" of the divorce industry. Dudes need to be accountable for themselves and stop acting like they don't know what they are getting into because they failed to do their homework in finding a decent woman suitable to be a spouse.
I don't knock the dudes who stay single into their 30s and 40s, I say do your thing champ. But I can say in retrospect being a father and a husband gives me the fulfillment that makes taking the risks of marriage worth it. For others, I can understand if they need something different.
As a married man myself, I have to cosign the threadstarter in saying that marriage as an institution sets men up for failure because of the divorce industry.
However, I also submit that something a lot men don't consider when they look at how divorce(and marriage) tends to benefit women more than men, is because of how the male power structure still marginalizes women. Laws are overly biased in favor of women because of the way how marriage back in the day used to give men an unfair amount of control over women's lives. That is still a problem today in some cases.
People seldom remember that before the women's movement back in the day, you could damn near treat your wife like your personal property. A woman would be hard pressed to live a good life after a divorce. So if you happened to be an abusive/unfaithful/unsupportive husband, it was a choice for a woman to live a "secure" life of abuse, or chance uncertain poverty for herself and her children. Now to compensate, states laws are always skewed in favor of women as a result today.
Giving up half your trap is a small price to pay compared to a woman with no education, no contacts, no job experience and the like trying to survive in a world with/or without dependents. A man can always start over, too many deadbeat dads are given the luxury to be able to disown their children while the mothers have to always be accountable. That is the tradeoff.
Now if you are dumb enough to marry a woman with no skill set and values of her own, then it is your own fault if you are a "victim" of the divorce industry. Dudes need to be accountable for themselves and stop acting like they don't know what they are getting into because they failed to do their homework in finding a decent woman suitable to be a spouse.
I don't knock the dudes who stay single into their 30s and 40s, I say do your thing champ. But I can say in retrospect being a father and a husband gives me the fulfillment that makes taking the risks of marriage worth it. For others, I can understand if they need something different.
Good post. I was waiting for someone to mention the reason that divorce laws are so biased in favor of women. You hit the nail on the head about how the laws were put in place during a period of time when women didn't have an education or the ability to support themselves (and children) so their husband was their lifeline. However, it is 2008 and that is NOT the case anymore. Why are these laws still in place?
----a bit off topic, sensitive types may want to skip...
I'm failing to see how the male power structure still marginalizes women. Males and females are different. There is a natural power structure between the genders (males did not create this). Because of the natural power structure this is a Man's world. It always has been and always will be. Please, correct me if I'm wrong but every major invention furthering civilization in the last 200 years is man-made. All of our modes of transportation, our infrastructure, medicine, computers, technology, agriculture, space exploration, and nuclear energy has all been created by men. Men even dominate feminine fields such as cooking, the arts, and interior design. The reason for all this has to do with the natural (the way our brains are wired) differences between males and females. It's a misconception that men are responsible for the lack of female achievements. I'm not saying that women aren't equally valuable, I'm just trying to point out that it's not a man-made power structure that is marginalizing women. Nothing paints a clearer picture of this than looking at the professions that have had to lower their standards to allow women to enter. The military, fire departments, police departments, etc. have all lowered standards to meet a female percentage quota. If men were/are holding women down, why do standards need to be lowered to allow them to do the same job?
-------------------------------------
So considering that today's woman is able to support herself, why do we still need divorce laws that favor them so heavily? Yes, a man that rushes into marriage with any woman only has himself to blame. However, it is starting to become more common that women are getting fucked over in divorce court. Many women these days are earning more money than their husband. In the event of a divorce, these women are being ordered to pay their ex-husband! Should we feel sorry for those women or just look at it like "what goes around comes around"?
coyoteblack
11-27-2008, 10:32 AM
As a married man myself, I have to cosign the threadstarter in saying that marriage as an institution sets men up for failure because of the divorce industry.
However, I also submit that something a lot men don't consider when they look at how divorce(and marriage) tends to benefit women more than men, is because of how the male power structure still marginalizes women. Laws are overly biased in favor of women because of the way how marriage back in the day used to give men an unfair amount of control over women's lives. That is still a problem today in some cases.
People seldom remember that before the women's movement back in the day, you could damn near treat your wife like your personal property. A woman would be hard pressed to live a good life after a divorce. So if you happened to be an abusive/unfaithful/unsupportive husband, it was a choice for a woman to live a "secure" life of abuse, or chance uncertain poverty for herself and her children. Now to compensate, states laws are always skewed in favor of women as a result today.
Giving up half your trap is a small price to pay compared to a woman with no education, no contacts, no job experience and the like trying to survive in a world with/or without dependents. A man can always start over, too many deadbeat dads are given the luxury to be able to disown their children while the mothers have to always be accountable. That is the tradeoff.
Now if you are dumb enough to marry a woman with no skill set and values of her own, then it is your own fault if you are a "victim" of the divorce industry. Dudes need to be accountable for themselves and stop acting like they don't know what they are getting into because they failed to do their homework in finding a decent woman suitable to be a spouse.
I don't knock the dudes who stay single into their 30s and 40s, I say do your thing champ. But I can say in retrospect being a father and a husband gives me the fulfillment that makes taking the risks of marriage worth it. For others, I can understand if they need something different.
good post....
LukeKage
11-27-2008, 11:30 AM
As a married man myself, I have to cosign the threadstarter in saying that marriage as an institution sets men up for failure because of the divorce industry.
However, I also submit that something a lot men don't consider when they look at how divorce(and marriage) tends to benefit women more than men, is because of how the male power structure still marginalizes women. Laws are overly biased in favor of women because of the way how marriage back in the day used to give men an unfair amount of control over women's lives. That is still a problem today in some cases.
People seldom remember that before the women's movement back in the day, you could damn near treat your wife like your personal property. A woman would be hard pressed to live a good life after a divorce. So if you happened to be an abusive/unfaithful/unsupportive husband, it was a choice for a woman to live a "secure" life of abuse, or chance uncertain poverty for herself and her children. Now to compensate, states laws are always skewed in favor of women as a result today.
Giving up half your trap is a small price to pay compared to a woman with no education, no contacts, no job experience and the like trying to survive in a world with/or without dependents. A man can always start over, too many deadbeat dads are given the luxury to be able to disown their children while the mothers have to always be accountable. That is the tradeoff.
Now if you are dumb enough to marry a woman with no skill set and values of her own, then it is your own fault if you are a "victim" of the divorce industry. Dudes need to be accountable for themselves and stop acting like they don't know what they are getting into because they failed to do their homework in finding a decent woman suitable to be a spouse.
I don't knock the dudes who stay single into their 30s and 40s, I say do your thing champ. But I can say in retrospect being a father and a husband gives me the fulfillment that makes taking the risks of marriage worth it. For others, I can understand if they need something different.
yeah good post
Women's Power is derived from the Limitation of the Sex Supply
FuriouStylez
11-27-2008, 05:05 PM
you can come up with every doomsday scenerio for everything in life...
bottom line is figure out who the fuck youre with before you commit...be it a relationship or dating...
Dathill...that was a good post.
Im going to co-sign with Coyoteblack.
Now, sadly in most of Europe...this kind of bullshit is only glamourized but encouraged. As a woman, it is your mission in life to find someone to take care of you and your children. And because that's what little girls are told, I complitely disagree with it and think it's quite sad.
I, for the most part agree with sLam, it's funny because my man has mentioned this to me before...and while he was always the first one to even bring up marriage, he once followed by saying that should anything happen, I walk away with half his shit and that wouldnt be fair. I of course, got offended. Even tho this worry...in my opinion is a legitimate concern.
Like I said, because where I come from it's so encouraged, I find it extremely degrating. I know a lot of women say this, and like sLam said many play the "good woman" role until the shit hits the fan but this is what I complitely do NOT care about. Like sLam said...I find myself perfectly capable of supporting and feeding myself, and Im not the type of a woman who feels better about herself because she's wearing Dior pumps instead of the ones she got in wall-mart. I find it complitely halarious when I see a man, and I can always tell how much he makes by looking at his wife. Dont these men not understand that this is ALL their good for?? Most women do not want to work, they wanna enjoy life, shop, work out...and when the time comes, pop out a few kids and call it a day. That's defenetly not my life plan and one that I think it's complitely worthless.
I in fact have no problem supporting my man if there's a need. I dont put a lot of importance on money, and like it's been said there are things that are much more importnat to me as a woman then what I'm wearing because my husband can afford it. Now if I married rich, sure that would be great and all, but I would still contenue working and making my money. I walked away from a long relationship with someone extremely wealthy because he wanted me as a thophy wife, because dressing nicely and having his kids was his plan for my existance.
I been with my man when he was up and down and everything in between and I personally wanna grow together and make money TOGETHER, and should anything happen, knock on wood...we split it all even and call it a day.
I wanna get married because Im an old-fashioned girl. My grandma raised me and her and my grandpa lived a long happy life together and that's what I want. I wanna ring on my finger because I wanna be his wife, his lover, his friend his wall and beyond. And mind u if he presented me with a tiny diamond, or no diamond at all...I would not give a fuck at all whatsoever.
I feel very sorry for those women, but I feel sorry for men who marry them more.
Dathill...that was a good post.
Im going to co-sign with Coyoteblack.
Now, sadly in most of Europe...this kind of bullshit is only glamourized but encouraged. As a woman, it is your mission in life to find someone to take care of you and your children. And because that's what little girls are told, I complitely disagree with it and think it's quite sad.
I, for the most part agree with sLam, it's funny because my man has mentioned this to me before...and while he was always the first one to even bring up marriage, he once followed by saying that should anything happen, I walk away with half his shit and that wouldnt be fair. I of course, got offended. Even tho this worry...in my opinion is a legitimate concern.
Like I said, because where I come from it's so encouraged, I find it extremely degrating. I know a lot of women say this, and like sLam said many play the "good woman" role until the shit hits the fan but this is what I complitely do NOT care about. Like sLam said...I find myself perfectly capable of supporting and feeding myself, and Im not the type of a woman who feels better about herself because she's wearing Dior pumps instead of the ones she got in wall-mart. I find it complitely halarious when I see a man, and I can always tell how much he makes by looking at his wife. Dont these men not understand that this is ALL their good for?? Most women do not want to work, they wanna enjoy life, shop, work out...and when the time comes, pop out a few kids and call it a day. That's defenetly not my life plan and one that I think it's complitely worthless.
I in fact have no problem supporting my man if there's a need. I dont put a lot of importance on money, and like it's been said there are things that are much more importnat to me as a woman then what I'm wearing because my husband can afford it. Now if I married rich, sure that would be great and all, but I would still contenue working and making my money. I walked away from a long relationship with someone extremely wealthy because he wanted me as a thophy wife, because dressing nicely and having his kids was his plan for my existance.
I been with my man when he was up and down and everything in between and I personally wanna grow together and make money TOGETHER, and should anything happen, knock on wood...we split it all even and call it a day.
I wanna get married because Im an old-fashioned girl. My grandma raised me and her and my grandpa lived a long happy life together and that's what I want. I wanna ring on my finger because I wanna be his wife, his lover, his friend his wall and beyond. And mind u if he presented me with a tiny diamond, or no diamond at all...I would not give a fuck at all whatsoever.
I feel very sorry for those women, but I feel sorry for men who marry them more.
:wow: Thanks for your honesty. Sadly, 98% women that are born and raised in America would NEVER admit to some of the things you just said!
My ex-g/f (studying to be a Anesthesiologist) shares most of these same opinions. She almost got into a fight with some women in a beauty salon when it was announced how much Juanita Jordan got in her divorce. She said the women started celebrating like a battle for woman-kind was just won. She made a comment like "I guess a woman's worth stops at her pussy!" They got pissed and came at her like "how dare you go against the sisterhood and not be for women getting huge settlements in divorce!?" All hell broke loose after that :lmao:
dathill2002
11-28-2008, 01:53 AM
Good post. I was waiting for someone to mention the reason that divorce laws are so biased in favor of women. You hit the nail on the head about how the laws were put in place during a period of time when women didn't have an education or the ability to support themselves (and children) so their husband was their lifeline. However, it is 2008 and that is NOT the case anymore. Why are these laws still in place?
----a bit off topic, sensitive types may want to skip...
I'm failing to see how the male power structure still marginalizes women. Males and females are different. There is a natural power structure between the genders (males did not create this). Because of the natural power structure this is a Man's world. It always has been and always will be. Please, correct me if I'm wrong but every major invention furthering civilization in the last 200 years is man-made. All of our modes of transportation, our infrastructure, medicine, computers, technology, agriculture, space exploration, and nuclear energy has all been created by men. Men even dominate feminine fields such as cooking, the arts, and interior design. The reason for all this has to do with the natural (the way our brains are wired) differences between males and females. It's a misconception that men are responsible for the lack of female achievements. I'm not saying that women aren't equally valuable, I'm just trying to point out that it's not a man-made power structure that is marginalizing women. Nothing paints a clearer picture of this than looking at the professions that have had to lower their standards to allow women to enter. The military, fire departments, police departments, etc. have all lowered standards to meet a female percentage quota. If men were/are holding women down, why do standards need to be lowered to allow them to do the same job?
-------------------------------------
So considering that today's woman is able to support herself, why do we still need divorce laws that favor them so heavily? Yes, a man that rushes into marriage with any woman only has himself to blame. However, it is starting to become more common that women are getting fucked over in divorce court. Many women these days are earning more money than their husband. In the event of a divorce, these women are being ordered to pay their ex-husband! Should we feel sorry for those women or just look at it like "what goes around comes around"?
As far as a counter-point to the original topic, who says just because it's 2008 there aren't women in the US who aren't in a marriage that is disadvantageous to them and their kids? Sure, there are vast opportunities compared to back in the day to educate yourself and equip yourself to take care of your own. But sadly that stuff still costs money. Students loans for example is no way to finance a college education dragging kids along with you for the ride after a divorce. So I can understand in some cases if there are still women out there who are isolated from necessary resources if they choose to get a divorce. For the record, in 2008 there are still arranged marriages, chattel slavery, human trafficking, and female circumcision so it'd be kind of hard to assume the laws currently in place are wrong for being biased. And yes, some of that stuff is going on in the US in 2008.
As far as women getting screwed in the divorce industry because a lot of them are making more money, I say the same to them as the men who feel like they were victimized because they didn't do their homework. I personally don't see anything wrong with the current laws. I feel if you have enough resources to where you are worried about someone taking half of them in a divorce, then you should make the investment in a good attorney to protect your assets. Marriage is just as much a contract as much as the emotional aspects that come with it. Once again, if you victimize yourself for failing to do your homework, you can't complain about the laws being biased.
"Time is money, and money is pussy. That's why you have to pay to play because pussy ain't free".:wink:
dathill2002
11-28-2008, 02:13 AM
Good post. I was waiting for someone to mention the reason that divorce laws are so biased in favor of women. You hit the nail on the head about how the laws were put in place during a period of time when women didn't have an education or the ability to support themselves (and children) so their husband was their lifeline. However, it is 2008 and that is NOT the case anymore. Why are these laws still in place?
----a bit off topic, sensitive types may want to skip...
I'm failing to see how the male power structure still marginalizes women. Males and females are different. There is a natural power structure between the genders (males did not create this). Because of the natural power structure this is a Man's world. It always has been and always will be. Please, correct me if I'm wrong but every major invention furthering civilization in the last 200 years is man-made. All of our modes of transportation, our infrastructure, medicine, computers, technology, agriculture, space exploration, and nuclear energy has all been created by men. Men even dominate feminine fields such as cooking, the arts, and interior design. The reason for all this has to do with the natural (the way our brains are wired) differences between males and females. It's a misconception that men are responsible for the lack of female achievements. I'm not saying that women aren't equally valuable, I'm just trying to point out that it's not a man-made power structure that is marginalizing women. Nothing paints a clearer picture of this than looking at the professions that have had to lower their standards to allow women to enter. The military, fire departments, police departments, etc. have all lowered standards to meet a female percentage quota. If men were/are holding women down, why do standards need to be lowered to allow them to do the same job?
-------------------------------------
So considering that today's woman is able to support herself, why do we still need divorce laws that favor them so heavily? Yes, a man that rushes into marriage with any woman only has himself to blame. However, it is starting to become more common that women are getting fucked over in divorce court. Many women these days are earning more money than their husband. In the event of a divorce, these women are being ordered to pay their ex-husband! Should we feel sorry for those women or just look at it like "what goes around comes around"?
As far as that side topic, sLam I thinking you are reaching pretty hard to down females on the slick.:think: You can't compare innovation between men and women when women have been oppressed since the beginning of time. That's like comparing achievement between white immigrants and descendants of slavery in the US. The male power structure is still put in place, especially evident by the fact that while more women are making money comparable to men, there is still a substantial pay gap between both genders doing the same work. Gender discrimination is real and alive just as much as racism is. There are too many socio-economic barriers to women to act as if the male power structure does not still exist. When people stop expecting everyone to live up to societal gender roles, and men starting having to be just as responsible for their kids is when things will be truly fair between sexes. You can't claim men have a more innate sense of intelligence when the same barriers aren't put in front of both genders when they try to achieve something. You also can't claim men's physical prowess is an excuse to believe women aren't as capable as men. The standards that are lowered are usually physical, but that has nothing to do with intellectual ability.
Ironically a lot of the same men believe a male power structure exists simply because we are "wired" to be more intelligent. But yet with that same power they feel they are entitled to, they also feel they can absolve themselves of the responsibility that comes with that implied power. Like I said about the thing with the deadbeat dads. But yet there are plenty of men who patronize women by having a prejudiced view against their talents, but yet also say it's the woman's fault for being a chickenhead/ho/slut/(insert female disrespectful adjective) when we encourage them to be so on a daily basis. How many fathers have had a dominant hand in raising the chickenheads? How many guys wife up around-the-way smuts for having a phat ass when there are many intelligent attractive women who get passed up all the time? So much for being a capable intelligent woman in a man's world.:smile:
Meanwhile these are the types who also believe chivalry is unfair, but yet believe women aren't deserving of the same respect because of their "limited" capabilities as women.:no:
As far as a counter-point to the original topic, who says just because it's 2008 there aren't women in the US who aren't in a marriage that is disadvantageous to them and their kids? Sure, there are vast opportunities compared to back in the day to educate yourself and equip yourself to take care of your own. But sadly that stuff still costs money. Students loans for example is no way to finance a college education dragging kids along with you for the ride after a divorce. So I can understand in some cases if there are still women out there who are isolated from necessary resources if they choose to get a divorce. For the record, in 2008 there are still arranged marriages, chattel slavery, human trafficking, and female circumcision so it'd be kind of hard to assume the laws currently in place are wrong for being biased. And yes, some of that stuff is going on in the US in 2008.
As far as women getting screwed in the divorce industry because a lot of them are making more money, I say the same to them as the men who feel like they were victimized because they didn't do their homework. I personally don't see anything wrong with the current laws. I feel if you have enough resources to where you are worried about someone taking half of them in a divorce, then you should make the investment in a good attorney to protect your assets. Marriage is just as much a contract as much as the emotional aspects that come with it. Once again, if you victimize yourself for failing to do your homework, you can't complain about the laws being biased.
"Time is money, and money is pussy. That's why you have to pay to play because pussy ain't free".:wink:
Sure, even today there are women who are in a marriage that's disadvantageous to them and their kids. However, that's a path they personally chose to take. Getting an education can be expensive but men have to face the same financial hurdles. What makes that hurdle harder to get over for women? A young man that has student loans plus a wife & kids is hurting just as bad if he get slammed in a divorce. There are no laws in place to help him out financially!
Presently women have two choices in life. They can
a) find a man that'll marry her and support her and the kids.
b) go to school, be independent and support themselves.
The problem that comes into play is that women who choose option "a" are likely to abuse Marriage/Divorce. What's stopping her from marrying a man, popping out a kid, a year or two later claiming "we grew apart" and filing for divorce? She gets half his stuff and he has to pay alimony and child support. JACKPOT. Ok, now she goes and finds another man, gets married, and starts the whole process over. JACKPOT AGAIN! It's completely legal for her to do that and do not underestimate the number of women that have done it and are currently doing it! She can continue to do this and it's likely that she will accumulate more wealth doing that than most women who chose option "b". There's very little incentive for a woman to work hard and make something of herself.
Nothing wrong with our divorce laws? Women are just taking advantage of dumb men that deserve it. Ok then, why is damn near every avenue of taking advantage of dumb women illegal?? Want to pimp women out on the corner? ILLEGAL! Want to hire them so you can pay them less? ILLEGAL! See what I'm getting at? It's ok (and encouraged) for women to profit off of dumbass men but it's wrong for men to profit off dumbass women! Is that really the lesson we should be teaching young girls?
As far as that side topic, sLam I thinking you are reaching pretty hard to down females on the slick.:think: You can't compare innovation between men and women when women have been oppressed since the beginning of time. That's like comparing achievement between white immigrants and descendants of slavery in the US. The male power structure is still put in place, especially evident by the fact that while more women are making money comparable to men, there is still a substantial pay gap between both genders doing the same work. Gender discrimination is real and alive just as much as racism is. There are too many socio-economic barriers to women to act as if the male power structure does not still exist. When people stop expecting everyone to live up to societal gender roles, and men starting having to be just as responsible for their kids is when things will be truly fair between sexes. You can't claim men have a more innate sense of intelligence when the same barriers aren't put in front of both genders when they try to achieve something. You also can't claim men's physical prowess is an excuse to believe women aren't as capable as men. The standards that are lowered are usually physical, but that has nothing to do with intellectual ability.
Ironically a lot of the same men believe a male power structure exists simply because we are "wired" to be more intelligent. But yet with that same power they feel they are entitled to, they also feel they can absolve themselves of the responsibility that comes with that implied power. Like I said about the thing with the deadbeat dads. But yet there are plenty of men who patronize women by having a prejudiced view against their talents, but yet also say it's the woman's fault for being a chickenhead/ho/slut/(insert female disrespectful adjective) when we encourage them to be so on a daily basis. How many fathers have had a dominant hand in raising the chickenheads? How many guys wife up around-the-way smuts for having a phat ass when there are many intelligent attractive women who get passed up all the time? So much for being a capable intelligent woman in a man's world.:smile:
Meanwhile these are the types who also believe chivalry is unfair, but yet believe women aren't deserving of the same respect because of their "limited" capabilities as women.:no:
Gender discrimination is real and alive but you cannot compare gender discrimination to racism! Some gender discrimination is actually needed (no racism is needed)! Why? BECAUSE THE GENDERS ARE NOT EQUAL. All men regardless of race are created equal. All women regardless of race are created equal. Men and Women are not created equal. The differences between men and women include the skeletal structure, different brains, different chemical makeup, etc. That does not mean men are better than women or vice versa! It simply means the two are not equal (apples and oranges). If you want to cause women greater hardships than they've ever faced, REMOVE ALL GENDER DISCRIMINATION! They would suffer immensely. No gender discrimination means (just to name a few):
- it's no more wrong for a man to hit a woman than it is for him to hit another man.
- no more female sports leagues or separate female events in Olympics (women must compete against men if we are blind to gender)
- no more teaching using a system that's biased towards female learning.
- no more biased divorce laws.
- no separate set of lower standards for women to join the military or become fire fighters and police officers.
- no lighter sentences for the same crimes men commit
The list goes on. The point being is that because the genders are not equal there must be some gender discrimination if you want to give males & females equal opportunities. Feminism originally started as "the fight to remove unnecessary discrimination against women". The key word is "unnecessary". That's not what today's feminist are fighting for! They're fighting for female dominance!
There is a pay gap between the genders but it's more complicated than just saying "men are discriminating". For instance, it has been shown (and I have observed) that women generally do not negotiate their salaries as well as men. Most of the time as long as the offer seems fair, women will accept it. At my previous job, I had to sit and and assist the HR department with interviews. Not one woman we interviewed and presented with an offer would try to haggle herself a higher salary. As long as the figure was in the ballpark of what most people in that field get paid, the women would happily take it. The men sure as hell didn't! The men would come up with excuse after excuse as to why they deserve more money.
I never claimed that men have a higher intelligence than women. There really isn't even an accurate way to measure a person's intelligence. All I was saying is that because of the difference in the male & female brain, men are more prone to acheive (or attempt to achieve) certain things. I remember a tv program I saw a while back. It was about a female college professor who is working on a cure for cancer using nano technology. She's respected in her field and she's the only female. She recruited several female students because she wanted to see more women in the male dominated field. As time passed, she discovered that initially her female students were good and interested in the subject. However, because of the length of time required to learn about such a complicated subject many women grew uninterested while the males persisted. Women have biological clocks and eventually their focus will shift to wanting to have and raise a child. Men are not burdened with that and in fact because of their higher level of testosterone they have a very strong desire to achieve their original goal. Basically, the female professor had to come to grips with the differences between males & females and she mentioned that it's not so clear cut that more women aren't in male dominated fields only because of discrimination. After all, she was well over 40 and still single living on her own with no kids. Not too many women would want to change places with her.
I agree with everything you said about the men who are deadbeat fathers.
"I am most anxious to enlist everyone who can speak or write to join in
checking this mad, wicked folly of "Woman's Rights," with all its attendant
horrors ...Were women to 'unsex' themselves by claiming equality with
men, they would become the most hateful, heathen and disgusting of
beings and would surely perish without male protection."
- Queen Victoria, 1870
Wise before her time? Or just a crazy broad trying to hold women back?
dathill2002
11-28-2008, 09:57 AM
Sure, even today there are women who are in a marriage that's disadvantageous to them and their kids. However, that's a path they personally chose to take. Getting an education can be expensive but men have to face the same financial hurdles. What makes that hurdle harder to get over for women? A young man that has student loans plus a wife & kids is hurting just as bad if he get slammed in a divorce. There are no laws in place to help him out financially!
Presently women have two choices in life. They can
a) find a man that'll marry her and support her and the kids.
b) go to school, be independent and support themselves.
The problem that comes into play is that women who choose option "a" are likely to abuse Marriage/Divorce. What's stopping her from marrying a man, popping out a kid, a year or two later claiming "we grew apart" and filing for divorce? She gets half his stuff and he has to pay alimony and child support. JACKPOT. Ok, now she goes and finds another man, gets married, and starts the whole process over. JACKPOT AGAIN! It's completely legal for her to do that and do not underestimate the number of women that have done it and are currently doing it! She can continue to do this and it's likely that she will accumulate more wealth doing that than most women who chose option "b". There's very little incentive for a woman to work hard and make something of herself.
Nothing wrong with our divorce laws? Women are just taking advantage of dumb men that deserve it. Ok then, why is damn near every avenue of taking advantage of dumb women illegal?? Want to pimp women out on the corner? ILLEGAL! Want to hire them so you can pay them less? ILLEGAL! See what I'm getting at? It's ok (and encouraged) for women to profit off of dumbass men but it's wrong for men to profit off dumbass women! Is that really the lesson we should be teaching young girls?
Whoa champ! I think I pointed out that I agree with you on the concept of marriage being less beneficial to men. But I also said I don't have compassion either for women who are victimized by divorce laws. There are some women out there paying alimony and giving up half also. Men can marry successful women at will and do the same thing. It happens a lot more frequently than you would think. Once again, if you are a man and you know the deal, then who's fault is it that you got screwed? No amount of modification to any law is going to save you from yourself.
As far as pimping goes, it also relates to my comments about the women's liberation movement before with women not having access to the same rights back in the day. Me being taken advantage of because I married someone, is not the same as being physically vulnerable to being pimped. I've never heard of a guy saying he got married so he could feed himself or keep his drug habit up like some prostitutes get in the game for. There aren't any females that are going to physically pimp out men the same way men can do women. So I'm not following the point you are trying to make.:confused:
So I'm not following the point you are trying to make.:confused:
Women don't have to physically pimp out men. In all the examples I've given of women on the come up thanks to the Divorce Industry the women are the Pimps and their ex-husbands are the Hoes.
dathill2002
11-28-2008, 10:24 AM
Gender discrimination is real and alive but you cannot compare gender discrimination to racism! Some gender discrimination is actually needed (no racism is needed)! Why? BECAUSE THE GENDERS ARE NOT EQUAL. All men regardless of race are created equal. All women regardless of race are created equal. Men and Women are not created equal. The differences between men and women include the skeletal structure, different brains, different chemical makeup, etc. That does not mean men are better than women or vice versa! It simply means the two are not equal (apples and oranges). If you want to cause women greater hardships than they've ever faced, REMOVE ALL GENDER DISCRIMINATION! They would suffer immensely. No gender discrimination means (just to name a few):
- it's no more wrong for a man to hit a woman than it is for him to hit another man.
- no more female sports leagues or separate female events in Olympics (women must compete against men if we are blind to gender)
- no more teaching using a system that's biased towards female learning.
- no more biased divorce laws.
- no separate set of lower standards for women to join the military or become fire fighters and police officers.
- no lighter sentences for the same crimes men commit
The list goes on. The point being is that because the genders are not equal there must be some gender discrimination if you want to give males & females equal opportunities. Feminism originally started as "the fight to remove unnecessary discrimination against women". The key word is "unnecessary". That's not what today's feminist are fighting for! They're fighting for female dominance!
There is a pay gap between the genders but it's more complicated than just saying "men are discriminating". For instance, it has been shown (and I have observed) that women generally do not negotiate their salaries as well as men. Most of the time as long as the offer seems fair, women will accept it. At my previous job, I had to sit and and assist the HR department with interviews. Not one woman we interviewed and presented with an offer would try to haggle herself a higher salary. As long as the figure was in the ballpark of what most people in that field get paid, the women would happily take it. The men sure as hell didn't! The men would come up with excuse after excuse as to why they deserve more money.
I never claimed that men have a higher intelligence than women. There really isn't even an accurate way to measure a person's intelligence. All I was saying is that because of the difference in the male & female brain, men are more prone to acheive (or attempt to achieve) certain things. I remember a tv program I saw a while back. It was about a female college professor who is working on a cure for cancer using nano technology. She's respected in her field and she's the only female. She recruited several female students because she wanted to see more women in the male dominated field. As time passed, she discovered that initially her female students were good and interested in the subject. However, because of the length of time required to learn about such a complicated subject many women grew uninterested while the males persisted. Women have biological clocks and eventually their focus will shift to wanting to have and raise a child. Men are not burdened with that and in fact because of their higher level of testosterone they have a very strong desire to achieve their original goal. Basically, the female professor had to come to grips with the differences between males & females and she mentioned that it's not so clear cut that more women aren't in male dominated fields only because of discrimination. After all, she was well over 40 and still single living on her own with no kids. Not too many women would want to change places with her.
I agree with everything you said about the men who are deadbeat fathers.
"I am most anxious to enlist everyone who can speak or write to join in
checking this mad, wicked folly of "Woman's Rights," with all its attendant
horrors ...Were women to 'unsex' themselves by claiming equality with
men, they would become the most hateful, heathen and disgusting of
beings and would surely perish without male protection."
- Queen Victoria, 1870
Wise before her time? Or just a crazy broad trying to hold women back?
:veryshocked::kidding::laugh:
Man you pulled out a Queen Victoria quote to further your point. You must have been digging pretty hard for that!
But yet you just justified what I said about nothing being wrong with current divorce laws. How are you going to say women are not equal as the weaker sex, but somehow it is not justified that the laws not be skewed in favor of women? That's like saying because I'm a man I am more powerful, but yet I disagree with women having more legal protection to even the playing field. Hence your pimping being illegal analogy.
Either you believe women are weaker and chivalry deserves some kind of merit, or you believe women are equal and you can't blame a woman if you feel you've been taken advantage of in a divorce. It's that simple.
That difference you claim in the male/female brain still comes off as you saying women are not as cerebral as men because of "biological" factors. When the truth is you don't consider how much chauvinistic attitudes perpetuate inequality between genders that doesn't allow women the same opportunities to be just as innovative as men. Consider the timeline when a lot of major inventions were made. What rights did women have during those times? When men are pushed by society to get out and achieve and aspire, what about those same women who are pushed to be just someone's wife?
Gender discrimination is a problem, hence I don't see a problem with the current divorce laws. Men still get over on women in divorces too. So, do your homework before you get married. Otherwise it just sounds like you are complaining because you want to have it both ways.:confused:
dathill2002
11-28-2008, 10:32 AM
Women don't have to physically pimp out men. In all the examples I've given of women on the come up thanks to the Divorce Industry the women are the Pimps and their ex-husbands are the Hoes.
Once again, you are reaching if you truly believe that. So all these men with all this stuff to lose don't have an obligation to themselves to protect their assets? Or was the pussy just that good that it hypnotized them into marrying a gold-digger? How do you get married so fast that you forget to protect your own assets?:think:
Once again, you are reaching if you truly believe that. So all these men with all this stuff to lose don't have an obligation to themselves to protect their assets? Or was the pussy just that good that it hypnotized them into marrying a gold-digger? How do you get married so fast that you forget to protect your own assets?:think:
Yes, men with something to loose do have an obligation to protect their assets. Not enough men are currently doing so. Same goes for successful women, they need to protect what they've earned as well. It's sad that there are laws in place designed to take what you've earned and that people have to take such drastic measures just to keep their own shit.
:veryshocked::kidding::laugh:
Man you pulled out a Queen Victoria quote to further your point. You must have been digging pretty hard for that!
But yet you just justified what I said about nothing being wrong with current divorce laws. How are you going to say women are not equal as the weaker sex, but somehow it is not justified that the laws not be skewed in favor of women? That's like saying because I'm a man I am more powerful, but yet I disagree with women having more legal protection to even the playing field. Hence your pimping being illegal analogy.
You can be in denial all you want, but I'm a man with a wife, daughter, and a mother and I can tell you gender discrimination is real. Either you believe women are weaker and chivalry deserves some kind of merit, or you believe women are equal and you can't blame a woman if you feel you've been taken advantage of in a divorce. It's that simple.
That difference you claim in the male/female brain still comes off as you saying women are not as cerebral as men because of "biological" factors. When the truth is you don't consider how much chauvinistic attitudes perpetuate inequality between genders that doesn't allow women the same opportunities to be just as innovative as men. Consider the timeline when a lot of major inventions were made. What rights did women have during those times? When men are pushed by society to get out and achieve and aspire, what about those same women who are pushed to be just someone's wife?
Gender discrimination is a problem, hence I don't see a problem with the current divorce laws. Men still get over on women in divorces too. So, do your homework before you get married. Otherwise it just sounds like you are complaining because you want to have it both ways.:confused:
Well then basically you're justifying what I'm saying as well. If you believe that it's okay for the laws to be biased towards women you are agreeing that women are not equal to men and need laws biased in their favor. So if you're agreeing that women are not equal to men, how can you paint gender discrimination in such a bad light? You cannot just magically make two unequal things equal! Either you take away something(s) from one or you give something(s) to the other.
You insist that men are the holding women down and I just don't agree with that. I think that definitely used to be the case back in the day, but today women have the opportunties to do almost* whatever they please. Our society is more feminine than any other society of the face of the planet. If women cannot prosper in our society then they cannot prosper PERIOD.
Queeny
11-28-2008, 12:11 PM
Personally I think that mid to late 30s is a good time to get married (for men) but obviously after a long long long LONG LOOOOOONG term relationship. I dont think focusing on your money over a family is sefish- it just really depends on what you want in life. Personally, I dont really care about having a million dollar bank account. I'd rather have a family and have an average income job rather than a high paying job with no family. But that's just me. I really dont think it's selfish if someone wants it the other way around.
I didnt even read the thread. Must go do now lol
Queeny
11-28-2008, 12:13 PM
ye so im not even going to START on your sexist ass. Sad :(
ye so im not even going to START on your sexist ass. Sad :(
Sexist in what way? You either agree that women are not equal to men and need laws that favor them or you believe women are equal and the laws favoring them should be abolished. This is a very black and white debate.
FuriouStylez
11-28-2008, 04:33 PM
you corny ass niccas do realize u can get paid for all this bullshit youre typing as opposed to typing it on the internet for free?
write a fuckin book already
you corny ass niccas do realize u can get paid for all this bullshit youre typing as opposed to typing it on the internet for free?
write a fuckin book already
:lmao:, With some of the shit I've said there would be women after me on some Kill Bill type ish. No thanks. :D
coyoteblack
11-28-2008, 04:56 PM
Yall some fools..... :lmao:
Queeny
11-28-2008, 05:01 PM
Sexist in what way? You either agree that women are not equal to men and need laws that favor them or you believe women are equal and the laws favoring them should be abolished. This is a very black and white debate.
its really NOT a black and white debate but im not even starting with this shit because with everything you've ever said it's very obvious you're a black or white person with no in-betweens.
Queeny
11-28-2008, 05:02 PM
:lmao:, With some of the shit I've said there would be women after me on some Kill Bill type ish. No thanks. :D
for once you are right lol
This thread is amazing, very intresting and educating and both sLam and Dathill, have brough some amazing and very true points to this very well rounded dabate.
And if that makes any sence, I agree with both.
But as a FAMALE, looking at other FEMALES I think it's quite sad that it's OKAY for most women to marry for money, when there is just SO MUCH MORE to experience with a man than his back account. And I get slamed for my views all the time, just like ur ex at the salon.
"We're working now, what is wrong with wanting to be taken care of later on???" soo...what ur saying is that u need a MAN to take care of you??? are u not capable of doing that on ur own???
And ANY way u put it...sLam spoke pure truth about women's focus shifting because she wants to have a child and family. Look at all those women in entertaiment, many made more money that any of u will ever see in our lifetime, have successfull careers and everything else they can imagine...yet, what do most women want at the end of the day? A FAMILY. And many take long breaks to give birth and raise their kids. That's just nature. But I do agree with Dathill that its not really fair to compare what men have achieved because like he said...look at the timeline when most inventions took place? Women's job was to marry and have kids at that specific time.
Most women get very offended without looking at the facts. But with what women went threw back in the day...and with the laws now..I think in a weird way it evens out. So I agree on both terms.
But again, it doesnt make it fair. Men just need to protect their assets.
"Screamin we WANT PRENUP, WE WANT PRENUP!"
Cali'sFinest23
11-29-2008, 05:26 AM
It is quite sad that women can control a marriage because the man has alot to lose if a woman chooses to get a divorce. But my answer to that is simple "IF YOUR NOT SURE OR READY TO COMMIT TO A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE RIGHT WOMAN DON'T GET MARRIED" majority of the time men put themselfs in these positions by making mistakes. I was always told by my mother damn looks find someone who has the same morals and values that you believe in instead of getting a "trophy wife."
its really NOT a black and white debate but im not even starting with this shit because with everything you've ever said it's very obvious you're a black or white person with no in-betweens.
Oh it really is a black and white issue. The thing is, you don't want to see it as a black and white issue. An apple isn't almost an orange and and orange isn't almost an apple. The same logic applies to this topic. Men are not almost women and women are not almost men. There really is no in-between (well there is if we talk about hermaphrodites but we aren't).
You know the difference between left brain and right brain thinkers?
Queeny
12-01-2008, 02:11 PM
Oh it really is a black and white issue. The thing is, you don't want to see it as a black and white issue. An apple isn't almost an orange and and orange isn't almost an apple. The same logic applies to this topic. Men are not almost women and women are not almost men. There really is no in-between (well there is if we talk about hermaphrodites but we aren't).
You know the difference between left brain and right brain thinkers?
aahahaha honestly i wont lie i cant even remember what we talked about and im too lazy to go search it. im sick and have NO energy to search for it :( hehehe
yes. left brain is more logical while the right brain is more artistic and musical and shit.
call me dumb but i dont get the connection between the question and the topic at hand ahahahaha :o
Im sick tooo man, been home for like ever...which is why Im here so much LOL.
aahahaha honestly i wont lie i cant even remember what we talked about and im too lazy to go search it. im sick and have NO energy to search for it :( hehehe
yes. left brain is more logical while the right brain is more artistic and musical and shit.
call me dumb but i dont get the connection between the question and the topic at hand ahahahaha :o
left brain vs right brain explains why regardless of anything anyone post on here...you'll never change your mind about Britney. :D
Nah I was just getting at how left brain & right brain thinkers wont see eye to eye on "black & white" issues.
Razor_Reigns
12-02-2008, 10:43 AM
This thread has my eyes hurting...
This thread has my eyes hurting...
Better your eyes hurt than your bank accounts!
Razor_Reigns
12-02-2008, 10:52 AM
^^^ The only thing a woman can get from me is good dick and conversation, my fingers don't look right with rings on em :lol:
^^^ The only thing a woman can get from me is good dick and conversation, my fingers don't look right with rings on em :lol:
chuuuuch!
coyoteblack
12-02-2008, 12:38 PM
Im sick tooo man, been home for like ever...which is why Im here so much LOL.
I am home most of the time or at the hospital so some days I am bored as hell but hey I found someone on here to liven things up .....
ya it sucks. and I cant sleep lately either.
MIN! I thought u was a marriage kinda dude! Im disapointed hahaaha...
coyoteblack
12-02-2008, 01:55 PM
ya it sucks. and I cant sleep lately either.
MIN! I thought u was a marriage kinda dude! Im disapointed hahaaha...My wife works she's tired most of the time.. the weekends I dedicate to her but during that time she is at work I am bored... Either I sketch to pass the time read a book, watch Msnbc news, play with my dog or go online... So weekends are our time I cook for her (I don't do house work tho) she doesn't drive so we go everywhere mainly walk the dog, go to Lowes, Homdepot or Belk's... And the days i am in the hospital she sits by my side...
Razor_Reigns
12-02-2008, 01:56 PM
^^^ I'm not against marriage, I just don't think it's for me, at least not at the moment, maybe I haven't found the right one... or maybe I've found too many of the right one's where now I can't choose between em :lol:
coyoteblack
12-02-2008, 02:16 PM
^^^ I'm not against marriage, I just don't think it's for me, at least not at the moment, maybe I haven't found the right one... or maybe I've found too many of the right one's where now I can't choose between em :lol:
you just haven't found the right one... When you do the rest will fall off...
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